


The Rose and the Hollyhock

by DirectorHachi



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Development, Comedy, Developing Friendships, Enemies to Friends, Family Feels, Gen, Misunderstandings, PD isn't Rose and shenanigans ensue, Pink Needs a Hug, Pink is a Brat, The CG's are a better family than the Diamonds, steven is pure
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-26
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-16 21:09:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17553248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DirectorHachi/pseuds/DirectorHachi
Summary: With that one little, nettling curiosity, a trip into Lion's mane, and a panicked-accident later, Steven unwittingly upends everything he thought he knew about a certain pink dictator, releasing her (along with a host of his Mom's secrets) from her 5,250 year prison.(Canon Divergent after Letters to Lars)





	1. A Tyrant Emerges

**Author's Note:**

> (Before anybody gets started, this is not in any way a diss on what canon has been doing. I LOVE the direction the show is going.)
> 
> This is an old idea based off an old theory that I had before the Big Reveal, that I just have an absolutely big soft spot for and couldn't get out of my head.
> 
> With that said, please enjoy!

Steven fiddled with the small, rusted key in his hands as he trudged his way up the pink, grassy hill. His eyes fixed upon the chest that sat in the exact spot it had been since that day 3 years ago when he first entered Lion’s mane. Unmoving, unopened. It was his mother’s last secret handed down to him, and he was finally going to see its contents. His heart was beating out of his chest, and he was almost tempted to run back down and poke his head through the tall grass and catch a huge breath. But he didn’t want any more delays; he had been waiting for this for too long.

As the key fit seamlessly into the lock, his mind began to race with what could possibly be inside. Another tape, detailing another shamelessly deep trove of secrets? Perhaps the reason for his existence? Perhaps yet another chest for which he would have to find a key for, and then there’d be a chest inside _that_ chest and he would-

A shimmer of white-pink light caught his eye as the light glanced off something sitting on the bottom of the  chest. Peering deeper inside, he saw the familiar sight of a bubble. One of his mom’s bubbles.

_Oh no. Who else did Mom imprison in here? ...And for that matter, why a bubble inside a chest, instead of floating free like Bismuth was? That just seems like overkill._

His hands trembling, he reached inside the chest and gently lifted the bubble out to eye-level to get a better look at the gem floating dormant inside. It was one of the largest gems he had ever seen, with an intricate round cut slanting down into a fine point. It was strange, because for some reason he was beginning to think he had seen this cut before. He studied the gem closer, tilting it to get a better look. It had almost floated completely upside down when...

Suddenly, a memory flashed before his eyes. A face scrunched up with indignant fury as she slammed her fist into her own reflection, shattering the glass. And for that split second, the gem resting on her navel… _That gem…_

_No._

_No no no no._

_No it couldn’t be, it couldn’t be her…_

Steven’s hands began to quake uncontrollably, and he tried desperately to keep a steady hand to keep the gem afloat. His breath was beginning to run out, his mind filling with intrusive thoughts as he began to back away from the sinister chest.

She’s alive.

Mom lied. Again.

What do I do?

I can’t breathe.

_What have I done?_

A moment too late, he realized that he was backpedaling on empty air and, to his horror, started tumbling backwards down the hill, the bubble flying from his hand. Upon hitting the ground, he scrambled to his feet, hoping desperately to catch the fragile prison before it hit the ground. But before he could even look up, the cold sound of a bubble popping rang in his ear. And even worse, the old familiar sound of a gem reforming. He slowly looked up, to see a bright pink light growing bigger...and bigger...and _bigger…_

Before long, the appearance of a tall, pink, horrifyingly familiar Gem blinked from the light, floating stiffly in the air for a few suffocating seconds before crashing like a lifeless mannequin to the ground, not a foot from where Steven was sprawled.

He couldn’t remember how to breathe. He couldn’t remember he _needed_ to breathe. All he knew was the figure slowly stirring, her gloved fingers clutching the soft grass, her voluminous cotton candy hair shifting as she lifted her face to look at him.

He didn’t even need to see her face. He didn’t need to see those harsh-pink eyes with those sharp diamond irises.

Steven had just freed none other than _Pink Diamond_.

The Gem who had tried to take over Earth 5000 years ago.

The Gem his mother was supposed to have shattered _._

_The Gem whose death was supposed to mean the Earth was safe._

But if she is here... _then that means..._

An electric fear surged through Steven, and it made him aware of his lungs screaming for air. He ran into the tall grass, away from the tyrant lying between him and Lion’s tree.

“Hey…!”

The sound of an indignant, childish voice rang from behind him, spurring his legs to move faster yet. He had almost reached the part of the grass he could exit through when he heard the _thump thump thump_ of swiftly approaching footsteps. With one last burst of energy, he dove through the grass just as a gloved hand grasped upon air.

He tumbled out of Lion’s mane, gasping for breath, tears slowly beginning to form in his eyes as it started to dawn on him just what had happened.

“Guys… _GUUUYSSSSS!_ ” he cried out, the tears now coming in full force.

Nothing ever brought the Crystal Gems running faster than the sound of Steven crying. Within seconds, Garnet, Pearl, and Amethyst came stumbling into the living room where the hybrid child was lying, hyperventilating on the wood flooring next to a rather confused Lion.

Pearl, just about having a panic attack of her own, threw herself to Steven’s side, and gently cupped his face in her trembling hands. “Oh stars, what’s happened? What’s wrong Steven?! Did you hurt yourself? Come on Steven speak to me!”

Quickly assessing the situation, Garnet knelt down and leaned Steven against her leg, placing her hand against his back.

“It’s okay Steven, it’s okay… _Breathe…_ ”

But it wasn’t okay. Garnet didn’t even know how _not_ _okay_ it was. But he needed to catch his breath so he could warn them. So he could tell them what he had done. _Oh, what he had done…_

When he finally found that his lungs were beginning to slow, he managed to gasp out, “I messed up… I messed up guys, I messed up…”

“Whoa whoa, slow down bud, it’s probably not any worse than usual,” said Amethyst, trying to lighten the mood.

“AMETHYST!” Pearl reproached.

“No… It’s worse… It’s _so much worse_ …” Steven was beginning to sob again just at the thought of it. _Everything Mom fought for, everything Mom sacrificed for…_

“Steven… Just tell us what happened,” came Garnet’s gentle, motherly voice, wordlessly reassuring Steven that whatever he did, the Gems would not be angry with him.

Swallowing his tears with a hard gulp, Steven forced those words out.

“Pink Diamond is alive… and I let her out.”

A sudden northern frost might as well have blown in with how cold the room turned in a matter of seconds.

“Steve-o…?” Amethyst tried to laugh. “Ahahaha, I think I mighta misheard you there, cuz for a sec I thought you said somethin’ about Pink Diamond being alive? That’s not a very funny joke ya know, haha…! Cuz Pink Diamond is super _dead_ right? Rose did her in like forever ago, right?”

Amethyst looked over at Garnet for reassurance, then over to Pearl, who was clutching at her mouth.

“...no,” said Pearl, in little more than a whisper.

There was that chill again.

“ _Pearl_...” said Garnet, her teeth gritted.

“Rose never shattered Pink Diamond. I know, because she showed me her bubbled Gem after the ambush in Korea.”

Garnet fully turned to face Pearl. “You helped her keep this from us! _I thought we were a team!_ ”

Pearl opened her mouth as if to try and say something, but her hand reflexively clapped over her own mouth, refusing to budge.

Garnet flinched. She could easily put two and two together and realize that Pearl had no say in the matter about keeping silent. _But she was still so angry._

“We trusted Rose with our lives, but she _never trusted us._ She said we were her closest friends, and she never told us that she, that she-” She grabbed her own shoulders, beginning to flicker with the bright white light that signalled a fusion coming undone.

_No. Keep it together. They need you._ Steven _needs you._

“While our friends have been suffering, while we’ve been fighting, that monster has been sitting safe in a bubble! She sat next to Bismuth! _Our friend!_ ”

“Garnet! You know Rose had her reasons for keeping secrets, and she had a reason for keeping Pink Diamond alive, too! You just have to-”

“Trust her, I suppose! Trust _you!_ I don’t see how I can trust anything she said anymore when she left our worst enemy inside a chest for Steven to find, as if she was some kind of treasure! And you helped her do that!”

“ _I didn’t know that’s where she kept her, Garnet!_ All she told me was that she would hide her away, and that we would be safe!”

“And I suppose Biggs was included in that! And Snowflake, and Beryl, and all the others!”

“ _Garnet!_ ”

“She _lied_ to you, Pearl! She _lied to all_ of us!”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about!”

“And I suppose you do!”

“Guys…? Please uh, please stop,” came Amethyst’s meek voice, which was quickly overpowered by the angry voices of her two seniors.

The younger gem was beginning to have flashbacks to that day when Pearl had continually destroyed the communication hub in order to form Sardonyx. But this was different… This was _worse._ It hadn’t quite registered in her mind that Rose’s arch enemy had come back, but she hoped to at least calm them down before she started freaking out for herself.

_Just try not to think about how the war might be starting all over again and you’ll be losing everything and everyone you love, hahaha..._

Steven just watched all of this unfold, tears flowing from his eyes as he hugged himself. He needed to do something. He needed to _say_ something.. The entire team was falling apart before his very eyes, and it was-

_Your fault._

_All your fault._

_You had to go sticking your nose in again._

_Had to go screw everything up,_ **_again_ ** _._

Suddenly, he was jolted from the whirlwind inside his mind by the sound of Lion snarling. Whipping around, Steven saw Lion starting to squirm and growl behind him, flexing his claws and baring his teeth. Had he looked at just the right angle, he would have seen a ripple of white light beginning to form on Lion’s mane.

“Lion…? What’s wrong-”

Without warning, a magenta-gloved hand suddenly burst from Lion’s mane, grasping at air. Before Steven could scramble away, the hand suddenly caught itself on his leg and locked its grip. Steven cried out in alarm, clawing at the wooden floor as he began to be dragged back into the suffocating realm of Lion’s mane.

“GUYS! _HEEEEEELP!_ ”

All the bickering ceased immediately. The Gems cried out in panic at the sight before them, swiftly rushed to Steven’s side and grabbed onto him, attempting to yank him free from the faceless terror that lay on the other side. A second arm tore its way from the pocket dimension and clasped onto Steven’s waist, prompting more screaming from the hapless child.

It was like something out of a horror movie.

“Hey! Leave him alone you dusty old despot! _YOU DUSTSPOT_!” yelled Amethyst, clamping her jaws down onto the hand holding Steven’s leg.

The grip on him was like iron, and no amount of gnawing on Amethyst’s part could make it loosen. But they slowly yet surely began to pull him back further from Lion’s mane. Relief began to fill Steven’s heart, but it was quickly replaced with terror when he realized that despite him being pulled further from Lion’s mane, Pink Diamond was not letting go.

_She was being pulled out with him._

The gems, hauling with all their might, didn’t notice that Pink was almost halfway out, before Steven began to shout, “Guys wait! Stop, stop, _STOP!_ ”

Without warning, Pink Diamond suddenly let go of Steven, sending the entirety of the Crystal Gems tumbling backwards into the sofa. By the time Steven looked up from where he was lying sprawled on Garnet’s lap, it was too late. Pink Diamond had pushed herself the rest of the way out, setting foot in our dimension for the first time in over 5000 years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first attempt at writing a longer-lengthed fanfic, so comments would be super appreciated to help keep me going!!


	2. A War Resumes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun Fact: My headcanon voice for this particular version of Pink Diamond is Cristina Vee, otherwise known as the "Tiny Voice" from the Zoo!

A dainty slipper caught itself on its way out of Lion’s mane, causing Pink Diamond to nearly trip. For a brief moment, she flailed her arms desperately to keep her balance, before finally pulling it free and landing square on both feet. She triumphantly grinned at herself for that little victory.

Lion scooted away on his tummy, supremely confused as to what was going on, and who the dickens had just exited his mane. Without his permission, for that matter. 

She looked at Lion with a wide-eyed, confused stare for a few seconds before finally noticing the Crystal Gems all in a pile in front of the couch, straightening up.

Instantly, the Crystal Gems were on their feet, weapons brandished, Steven pushed behind them protectively near the cabinet on the stairs. 

Pink Diamond was exactly as Steven had remembered her in Stevonnie’s vision on the jungle moon. Her sharp diamond eyes seemed to pierce straight through the Crystal Gems and into him. The fact she was wearing a poofy frilly princess clown outfit did nothing to diminish the intense feeling of dread circulating through him. 

...well, maybe just a little bit.

Pink Diamond looked at them, then at the portrait of Rose on the wall beside them, then back at them, then all around the room. Steven could practically see the clockwork in her head trying to figure out just what was happening.

“Where am I?” she asked flatly.

She received no answer, the Crystal Gems continuing to stare her down.

“Where... is Rose Quartz?” 

Unconsciously, the gems closed in around Steven.

Pink Diamond took a step forward, her eyes wide and her back stiffened.

“Are you Crystal Gems defective in your hearing holes or something? I said…  _ Where is Rose Quartz? _ ”

Garnet was the first to spit out, “Not. Here.”

“Hm,” Pink Diamond seemed to ponder, casting a glance over at Pearl. “You know it’s funny that her  _ favorite  _ little Pearl would be here, but she’s nowhere in sight.” 

“It’s not as if we did- As if we do  _ everything  _ together,” said Pearl, trying to suppress a blush. 

“Oh my stars… Don’t tell me she  _ ditched  _ you!” cried Pink with a laugh. “Or worse,  _ she’s hiding? _ ”

The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife.

“Well, one way you Crystal Defects could do something useful for once in your life…” The Diamond curled her fingers in front of her face, casting it in shadow. “You could tell me where your Rose Quartz is hiding…” She twirled on the ball of her foot and pointed dramatically at the Crystal Gems. “Before I  _ make  _ you tell me!” 

All of a sudden the air was broken by a loud, boisterous laughter. Pink Diamond looked as if something rather bad-smelling had wafted past her nose. Garnet, Pearl, and Steven looked over in horror at Amethyst, half-keeled-over in uncontrollable laughter.

“That’s...THAT’S... _ THAT’S PINK DIAMOND? _ ” she cackled. “SHE LOOKS LIKE A DISCOUNT FAST FOOD MASCOT.”

Pink Diamond knew what none of those words meant. But the tone of the amethyst’s remark was unmistakably that of an insult.

“What is a masco- I mean-  _ SILENCE _ ! How DARE YOU!” Pink Diamond blustered. “I am Pink  _ Diamond _ ! I own this world! I own YOU! And I will not be ridiculed by an overcooked, undertall little quartz soldier so puny she can’t even look up at me without straining her neck!”

“‘Undertall’?” Steven parroted, looking confusedly up at Garnet, whose stance had not unstiffened.

“Wa-how, sounds like someone’s projecting just a bit!” choked Amethyst, wiping away a tear.

Pink Diamond blinked. “Projecting?”

“Yeah. Cuz ya so short.”

Pearl clapped a hand over her mouth. Steven thought he saw Pink Diamond’s eye twitch.

“What…  _ What did you just say to me? _ ”

“Well I mean c’mon dude, just the very fact your head isn’t smashed through the ceiling says you’re  _ way  _ under the Diamond height average. And you’re probably super insecure about it so you attack anything that reminds you of it.”

“I’m sure I don’t know  _ what  _ you’re talking about,” said Pink Diamond, in a sickeningly sweet voice, rage clearly burning behind her eyes.

“Sure ya do! I mean, I’m literally in the same place you are.” She waved her hand over her head to indicate a certain lack of height. “And heck, I used to feel really rotten about it just like you!”

“YOU INSOLENT LITTLE- You think that you can bring me down to your level?!” Pink Diamond’s face had turned a much deeper shade of red. Amethyst was hitting on something, evidently, very personal.

“Ohh no man, I ain’t saying we’re on the same level. After all, I got over it!”

Steven clapped a hand over his mouth.

“You- You think you’re  _ better  _ than me?!” Pink Diamond’s voice cracked.

“Well in the ‘serious self-esteem’ issues department you definitely got me beat. Congrats your majesty, guess what you’ve won!”

Pink looked almost taken off guard that she’d actually won something. “Wha-”

“ _ A BEATDOWN FROM THE LEGENDARY PURPLE PUMAAAAAAAAAA!” _

“...the  _ WHAT? _ ”

Without warning, Amethyst’s form burst out in a bright light as it stretched out and expanded. With a dramatic flash and a mighty roar, Purple Puma burst into existence flexing.

Pink could only stare vacantly as the heel’s muscles bulged.

“Get ready, ya walking powderpuff, cuz Purple Puma’s gonna put ya right back in the ground!”

“I still don’t know who that is-”

The mighty Purple Puma wrapped a single, muscular arm around the Diamond’s neck and began to pull back, intending to throw her to the ground in a suplex. But to his surprise, not a single pull was able to make his opponent budge. Even Pink seemed surprised by her low center of gravity for a brief second, before her face settled into a look of smug victory.

Gritting his teeth, Purple Puma shifted his grasp to her waist, then to her arm, even beginning to try and push against her stomach with his whole weight. Just to add insult to injury, Pink Diamond opened her mouth wide for a fake yawn before grabbing Purple Puma’s arm in an imitation of his own move, and throwing him across the room.

“Amethyst!” cried Steven as she collided with the TV, bounced off of it into opposite wall, and rolled painfully down the stairs. She crashed down in front of the screen door, reverted back to her usual form, stars dancing above her head. The Crystal Gems all ran to her, helping her up off the ground.

“Oh- oh yeah? You had enough, eh?” she slurred.

“OOOHOHOHO!” crowed the triumphant Diamond, lifting a palm to her mouth haughtily. “Is this the best you got, you Purple Pebble?”

“As a matter of fact…” Amethyst gripped onto her gem and pull out a pair of whips. “It ain’t even CLOSE!” With a loud crack, Amethyst’s whips curled around Pink Diamond’s thighs. Giving the whip another crack, a stream of purple fire rushed down the rope towards the Diamond, connecting with a loud explosion.   
  


“Amethyst, that was really cool, but could we PLEASE stop destroying my house?!” Steven cried.

“Whoops. Sorry bud, guess I got carried awAAAAY-!” Within an instant, Amethyst was suddenly whipped off the ground. As the smoke cleared, it was obvious that no damage had been done to anything but the house. Pink Diamond had grabbed onto the whips curled around her waist and was now swinging Amethyst around the room like a flail, leaving dents in the floors and wall. 

As Amethyst’s grip slipped, Pearl ran forward to catch her.

“I’VE GOT YOU AMETHY-”

Amethyst collided with her at a high velocity, instantly poofing the white gem upon impact. Pink Diamond blinked, looking down at her hands with wide eyes.

“Ahehehe, oopsies?” Pink Diamond grinned lopsidedly as the white glittery smoke wafted over the horrified Gems.

“That, is,  _ IT! _ ” yelled Garnet, with a fury that frightened even Steven. Her gauntlets slowly growing until they were several times bigger than Pink Diamond’s head, Garnet threw herself at the tyrant with a primal scream, causing her target to actually take a step back in apprehension. She swung with the full strength her body allowed, and collided her fist into the matriarch’s face, sending her flying straight into the door leading further into the temple.

Steven ran to Garnet, who was heaving heavy breaths from that exhausting attack, throwing his arms around her leg as Amethyst began to pick herself up from on top of Pearl’s inanimate gem.

Pink Diamond’s eyes were spinning around dizzily as she lay slumped against the temple door, but within seconds she had shaken it off.

“Ya know, for something that’s supposed to be twice as strong as a normal gem, I would have expected that to sting a little bit more,” she sneered as she rose to her feet. Garnet ground her teeth, hatred seething off her like steam. 

Steven clutched tighter onto her leg. There was no scenario that he could possibly foresee that they all got out of there unscathed. Garnet was going to be poofed, then Amethyst was going to be poofed. 

_ The image of Ruby’s and Sapphire’s shards scattering across the wooden floorboards flashed across his mind. Then the image of Amethyst crumbling beneath Pink Diamond’s foot. Then Pink Diamond walking steadily towards where Pearl lay helplessly… _

“Oh hey, is that a warp pad?” Pink’s nonchalant voice suddenly broke through the fog.

“H-huh?”

“Oh hey, it is!” Pink’s face lit up with an ecstatic smile before settling once again into a pompous smirk. “As  _ amusing _ as it was to play around with you defective low-lifes, I have more  _ important  _ things to be doing… Like getting off this infernal rock!” 

She attempted a dramatic step onto the pad which turned into something more of a clownish hop. 

“Ahem… The Dazzling Pink Diamond shall be dealing with you pathetic lot later! OOOHOHOHOHO!” and with that, she vanished in a beam of light.

Steven slumped against Garnet’s leg with a sigh. “Garnet, I-”

Suddenly the warp pad flashed again and Pink Diamond was back. The Gems stiffened back up into a fighting pose.

“Oh I almost forgot! If you see that traitor Rose Quartz, send her my way! So I can punch her in her stupid perfect face myself! THE DAZZLING- wait I said that already, umm… THE MARVELOUS! PINK DIAMOND! ...HEADING OUT! OHOHOHO!” Once again, a beam of light signalled her exit.

The Gems stared at the empty warp pad for several seconds, slowly blinking.

“....Gar-”

Yet another flash of white light and Pink Diamond returned. The Gems once again jumped back into fighting poses.

“I just remembered you don’t know where I’m going. So you wouldn’t be able to send her my way anyway. So umm… disregard what I said before. Just um… ya know...”

The Gems stared back at her blankly.

“...YOU WILL ALL PERISH AT MY HANDS. OHOHOHOHEUGH,  _ HACK KAGH _ -”

She started coughing uncontrollably just as she vanished again into a pillar of light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize in advance if updates come slowly, as I've just started the school semester... But I'm gonna do my best to keep consistent!


	3. Perils at Funland

It was about three minutes before the gems finally slumped forward and dissipated their weapons, though it felt like half an eternity.

“Garnet, I’m so so sorry! This is all my fault! I just had to know what was in the stupid chest, and I had to let her grab me, and-”

“Shhshhshh…” Garnet knelt down and placed her hand gently against Steven’s lips. “Rose left that chest in there for you, there’s no way you could have known that its contents were so dangerous.”

Her other hand clenched again. She was the one with the future vision. She was the one who was supposed to foresee danger, to keep the others safe.

“But why?! Why was she even in there? Why did Mom lie about shattering her? Why did she leave her there for me to find? _Did she want me to shatter her myself?!”_

Any other day, Garnet would have responded with a firm ‘no.’ But right now, her mind was on the verge of tearing itself apart, and she didn’t know anything anymore. _Rose had lied. Pink Diamond was alive._ And now, Pink Diamond was _loose_.

She couldn’t see how this could end. How could _anyone_ know how this would end? In a world where she could normally see in several dimensions, she was stumbling about blinder than ever.

And she was scared.

_Terrified._

But she had to keep strong. There would be time for falling apart later. For now, they had a mission.

_I can’t make you face this alone, Ruby…_

_...I won’t make you face this alone either, Sapphire._

“Amethyst.” The small quartz, who had been picking up Pearl’s gem from the rubble, immediately snapped to attention. “We’re going after her.”

“Right.” She gave a serious nod before placing Pearl’s gem gingerly upon one of the couch pillows.

“What are we even going to do when we find her?” asked Steven.

“Not ‘we,’” said Garnet. “You are going to stay here with Pearl and Lion. Amethyst and I will go after Pink Diamond.”

Steven felt his heart drop into his stomach. “But... but Garnet I-”

Garnet placed a hand softly under his chin. “This isn’t about anything you have done Steven. It’s about your safety. Regardless of everything, Rose Quartz was the one who imprisoned Pink Diamond. And if she sees you summoning your shield, or using your bubble, or even catches a glimpse of your gem... you will be in more danger than you have ever been.”

Steven opened his mouth to say something, and closed it again. She was right. But it still felt so wrong.

“But I’m a Crystal Gem… And all of this is _my fault_ , I should be out there helping…”

“Oh no you don’t start with all that ‘blaming yourself for things way out of your control’ thing again, ya little dope,” said Amethyst, punching Steven lightly in the arm.

“Heheh, right…” Dangit, he was doing it again. He wondered if the Gems would end up having to keep him on a leash to keep him from sacrificing himself. _Again._

Garnet pressed Steven’s phone into his hand. “Keep this with you at all times. Any sign of trouble, you call us.”

Steven closed his fingers around the phone and nodded grimly.

“Also… maybe hang around Beach City for a bit? In case Her Royal Majesty forgot something else or whatever,” Amethyst snorted, gesturing at the warp pad. Steven had to let out a chuckle at that.

“Are you sure you guys will be alright by yourselves? She _is_ a Diamond.”

“Don’t worry, Steven. We won’t let our guard down. And if worse comes to worse…” Garnet looked down at Amethyst and smiled. “We’ll always have Sugilite to fall back on.”

Amethyst’s eyes lit up at that prospect. “Oh ho man I can’t wait to see the look on that royal pain’s face when she sees us!”

Garnet tenderly ruffled Amethyst’s hair. “Stay safe, Steven.”

He gave a half-hearted wave goodbye as the two Crystal Gems stepped onto the warp pad, bid him a quiet farewell, and warped away.

“Good luck…”

Amethyst’s words hovered in his mind. What if Pink Diamond _did_ come back? What if he had to face her alone? His home, which had once been been a safe haven, now felt quiet and foreboding. As if the silence could be broken at any second.

Maybe a walk around Beach City would be a good idea.

He glanced over at Pearl, lying dormant on the couch. He would hate to leave her all alone through this… She would be in just as much danger as him if Pink Diamond came back. He picked her up, wrapped her up in a soft pink blanket and ran to the bathroom.

“Hey Peridot I’m going out for a bit watch Pearl for me please!” Steven said rapidly as he quickly placed Pearl on the counter and slammed the door shut again.

Peridot shifted slightly to peek out of the bathtub, then shifted back down.

\----

_Click click tap click._

_“Combo!!”_

_Click tap tap click tap._

_“Double Combo!!”_

_Tap click tap tap tap click click tap._

_“TRIPLE COMBO FRENZY DELUXE!!”_

Steven mindlessly mashed away at the buttons, executing perfect combo after perfect combo. He had hoped an hour or so of zoning out and playing games at the Funland Arcade would get his mind off the whole affair. But he couldn’t even get himself to concentrate on the game; his mind just kept drifting back to Pink Diamond.

As the chime of victory played over the screen, Steven glanced over at Lion, who was lying against the warm arcade machine, looking rather exhausted from doing absolutely nothing in the battle against the Diamond.

“Ya know something, Lion? It’s weird… Pink Diamond wasn’t exactly how I imagined her.”

“ _Boss Fight Approaching!”_

On the screen, a tall, wicked-looking man with a dark cape and a cruel sneer side-stepped into view.

“I mean, she’s _super_ scary and evil don’t get me wrong!” The cold, heartless _OHOHOHOHO_ still rung in his ears, sending shivers down his spine. “But I think I was imagining someone a bit less...silly? I mean, sometimes I got the impression she didn’t really know what she was doing…?”

Lion gave his usual sort of response. In that he gave no response at all.

 

“Ahh you’re right, I’m probably overthinking it. Like Garnet said, she tried to hollow out the Earth. No letting my guard down just cuz she happens to be in a cute tutu instead of an evil cape.”

“ _Kneel before me! Your world is mine!”_

_Click tap click click tap tap click tap._

“She was in charge of everything bad that happened on Earth. The Kindergartens, the fighting, the shattering…”

“ _Friendship and love means nothing to me!”_

_Click tap tap click click tap tap tap click tap click click click tap._

“She’s the bad guy. As long as she’s around, the Earth is in danger. That’s why we have to…”

“ _NO, THIS CANNOT BE!”_

“We have to…”

“ _You may have killed me, but my evil will never die!”_

Steven went silent as the boss fighter disintegrated into dust. The screen flashed bright with the neon colors of victory.

“Hey Lion… I think I’m gonna go take a walk.”

Lion only purred in his sleep, his ear twitching as he lay curled up on top of Whacker Man.

His head lowered to the ground in thought, his hands in his pockets, Steven started to turn towards the exit to Funland, when he overheard Mr. Smiley yelling at the top of his lungs near the teacups. Whenever that happened, it usually meant someone was about to get banned for life. (Usually him.) Always one to try and help out in a crisis, Steven changed his course and made his way over.

“Hey Mr. Smiley! What’s got you all in a fuss this fine, not-at-all-incredibly-stressful-day?” Steven said in an exceptionally chipper tone.

“Ohhhh nothing much Steven! Everything’s great! Can’t you tell by how RELAXED I AM?!” It looked like his eyeballs were about to pop out of his skull.

“Uhh…”

“This absolute _menace_ has been going around the park and riding all the rides! Without! _Paying!_ Does she realize I have to make an actual living here?!”

“How did she even manage that? You need a ticket to even get on the ride!”

“Ohh, you wanna know _how? You wanna know what she did?_! What she did is she plain jumped all the way up onto the top of the Ferris wheel!”

“Wait. What?”

“Yeah, and then she started yelling about it being boring or something, jumped right onto one of the teacups! _WHILE IT WAS IN MOTION_!” The vein in Mr. Smiley’s forehead  looked about ready to burst.

An awful feeling began to form in his stomach. There was no way a human could possibly do all that. Which meant it had to be a-

“HEY YOU! GET DOWN FROM THERE! If you end up falling and cracking your skull open I will _not_ be able to afford another lawsuit! Especially when CERTAIN people don’t find it necessary to PAY!” Smiley yelled up at one of the teacups.

Steven looked up and felt his heart stop. High up in one of the teacups, her legs hanging over the edge, squealing in delight, was none other than her Radiance, Pink Diamond.

“Hahahaha, you’re funny, little human!” Pink Diamond peered over the side of the teacup to look down at Mr. Smiley as she spun around. She was about to make another comment when she spotted Steven standing next to him.

“Oh hey!” A wide grin on her face, she pointed straight at Steven in recognition.

Panic fueling his every move, Steven fumbled with his phone and began pushing at the buttons. His fingers quickly becoming sweaty, he had barely been able to punch in two numbers before he heard Smiley shriek in terror.

He started to look up, and felt himself knocked right off his feet by something large slamming into the ground not two feet from where he was standing. His phone slipped from his clammy hands and went skidding along the ground.

He looked up at the towering Diamond, standing directly in front of the sun and casting herself in shadow. “You’re the Crystal Gems’ little human friend, aren’t you! I remember because of your cute little torso decoration!”

She tugged at the bottom of his shirt with her finger as an indicator of what she was talking about, coming dangerously close to exposing his gem. Without thinking, he slapped his hand down upon hers to stop her from pulling it up any further. For one terrible split second, he became fearful of how she’d react. But she simply blinked in surprise, and then resumed smiling.

“You have an adorable little village here! Is this human here one of your friends?”

“Now listen here young lady, napkins may be free, but rides aren’t, even for friends!”

“You are just _splendid!_ ”

Steven simply laughed nervously and backed away, hoping to grab his phone while Pink was occupied with Mr. Smiley’s outrage. But before he could make it more than a few steps, she had suddenly scooped him up under each arm and lifted him up to eye level.

“You know something, now that I think about it, I think you were the one who let me out? And the one who got me out of that weird pink world with the tree?” Steven let out a tiny whimper as he clutched at the hands gripping onto him. He looked over to where Mr. Smiley was standing, only to see that he had stormed off. (Probably realizing he was going to get nowhere with the bubbly fiend.)

“Thank you for that! I mean it! I mean who knows how long I would’ve ended up being in that bubble!” She let out a strange snort of a giggle, rather different from the haughty, bombastic one she’d previously graced the Crystal Gems with.

“W-what are you doing here?! I thought you said you were going off to look for a way off-planet!”

“Oh are you kidding me? It’s a dang war zone out there, I’m not going out there! I could be...shattered, or kidnapped or something!” she said with a giggle. “I mean, how terrible would it be if that were to happen? Blue and Yellow might actually be _worried_ for a _whole minute!_ ”

Steven was doing all he could to not barf.

“So I just teleported up to that little lookout spot you have, with all the hanging fabric, waited ‘til you were gone, then took a walk on the beach! I thought about going out and looking for ol’ Rosey Posey around town, but then I saw that giant wheel and... Well, it called to me! Didn’t have any choice!”

Steven stared blankly. Did she just admit to getting distracted and deciding to ride the Ferris wheel instead of looking for his mom?

“Oh! Speaking of which, I don’t suppose _you_ have any idea where that old ne’er-do-well Rose Quartz has gone, do you?”

Steven shook his head rigorously in response to that question.

“Whoa, you responded super quick to that! Yellow would say that means you _do_ know something! Come on, you can tell little old me,” she said in an exceptionally sweet voice, bringing Steven several inches closer to her face.

Steven sucked in his lips, setting his eyebrows into a defiant glare.

“Oooh, going all tight-lipped huh? Now let me warn you right now little buddy… I am. A _master._ Of interrogation. And I kinda sorta _reeeallly_ need to find Rose super quick.” Despite her chipper demeanor, Steven felt dread crawling its way up his spine. “So I’m not gonna stop until you. Tell me. What. You. Know!” She took her finger and lightly tapped it against his nose with every emphasis. Steven flinched at each tap, afraid each time that she would tap slightly harder and break his nose.

She carried him over to a bench and sat him down in her lap. “Now then! Where to begin… Maybe at the beginning! Yeah that sounds like the responsible thing to do! Do you know where Rose is, little buddy?”

Steven shook his head vehemently.

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive!”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes!”

“Are you sure?”

“Hrrnn…”

“Are you sure?”

It continued in that vein for several minutes.

\----

“Well aren’t you just a durable little nugget?”

Steven squirmed nervously on the bench where he sat at Pink Diamond militantly paced back and forth in front of him.

“Well don’t get too cocky, because I…” She reached into her hair and dramatically pulled out a tiny plastic bag full of gummy candy. “ _Am only getting started!_ ”  

“Wait… You have magic hair?”

“No, it’s just so incredibly fluffy that I can store stuff in it.”

“Oh…” Steven looked at the bag of candy. “Did you pay for that?”

“Did I what?”

Somewhere on the other side of Funland, Mr. Smiley was having an emotional breakdown.

Pink Diamond propped her hands under her chin as she watched Steven nibble apprehensively at the gummy candy.

At first, he was suspicious that she did something to it. (What exactly she _could_ do to it, he wasn’t sure. But you never knew with Diamonds.) However, upon having 5 pieces, it became clear that it was just regular old candy. Within minutes, most of the bag’s contents were gone.

“Did you like it? Was it good?”

“Ya-huh?” said Steven with the slightest hesitation. _Where was she going with this?_

“I figured you would! I have it under good authority that this candy is a very popular human snack!” She grinned and folded her arms proudly. “So now then… Now that I’ve given you this desirable treat, you’ll be telling me where your Rose Quartz is, won’t you?”

Steven looked to the side, his cheeks still stuffed with candy.

“Is this... a bribe?”

“Wow, what a clever little human to know what a bribe is! But yes, that is indeed what this is! A sort of, I polish your gem, you polish mine deal!”

“Shouldn’t you have given me the candy _after_ I gave you the information?”

“... _DANGIT._ ”

\----

“Sowhatdoyou...........thinkofthisnow?! ……...Ibetyou’re………….feelingsuper…………..jealous right now!!”

Steven stood beside the carousel, his arms crossed, and a perplexed squinted look on his face. He had been watching Pink go round and round atop a pink horse with flowers in its hair for several minutes.

“Iamhaving….…..somuchfunrightnow!..............Areyoureadyto……………..giveupyet?!?”

Steven only leaned against the iron bar, rocking back and forth against it with the most nonchalant expression he could muster. For the past hour or so, his fear of the matriarch had slowly but surely been beginning to dwindle.

Pink Diamond noticed this, and placed a hand upon her hip and pursed her lips into a pout. She leapt from the carousel and landed gracefully upon the iron bar that Steven was holding onto. “Your will is strong, I’ll give you that… But just you wait! I’ll totally get you with this next-” She suddenly stopped, and her previously goofy expression went stiff as stone.

“W-what’s up, why are you-”

“I just realized that you totally could’ve run away while I was doing that.”

The entire world seemed to go quiet, a gentle breeze pushing past the two.

“Whew, stars above, did I dodge a bullet on that one! Welp, I’ll make sure not to make that mistake again, c’mon little buddy!” said Pink cheerfully as she scooped Steven up under her arm and practically skipped away.

“... _DANGIIIIT!_ ”

\----

As they passed by on the boardwalk, the Cool Kids looked on in confusion at Steven and his weird, new friend. She was simply sitting next to him with her finger mere centimeters away from his face, repeating the words “I’m not touching you,” ad nauseam. Meanwhile, Steven was slumped over with his cheek leaning against his fist, looking thoroughly irritated.

“Hey uh, Steven… You need a little help-?”

“Nope. Good,” the boy replied flatly, his expression never changing.

They nodded, but still continued to glance back at the strange lady as they trekked down the boardwalk.

“I’m not… Geez, c’mon!” The Diamond suddenly threw up her hands, causing Steven to flinch away in surprise. “I’m trying really hard here, can’t you just tell me?”

“No!”

“C’mooooon...”

“I said NO!”

“COME-UH! _OOOOOOOOOOOOO_ -”

Without permission, the boy’s foot suddenly shot up and knocked the Diamond right in the nose.

The Diamond’s eyes went wide, and she brought a single hand up to the place on her nose where Steven had kicked her. For a brief second, he was beginning to think that she wouldn’t take that retaliation so well. But suddenly she burst into another peel of childlike laughter.

“Oh my stars, you humans are more fun than I ever could imagine! I can almost understand why that no-good low-account Rose Quartz would fight so persistently for you! ...Almost,” she quickly added.

A bead of sweat formed on Steven’s cheek.

“And I have to say, I’m impressed! The last time I saw even a glimpse of your little villages, all the buildings were made of mud and sticks! It’s funny how far you advanced in such a short amount of time!”

Several beads of sweat formed on Steven’s face.

Pink seemed to notice Steven’s sudden tense expression, and her smile began to fade.

“Heehee, what? Haven’t you ever had a compliment before? What’s that look for?”

But as Steven held his silence, a growing realization began to dawn on the young Diamond.

“How _did_ you advance so quickly? Or was it… not quickly at all?”

Steven began to feel his throat closing up.

A shadow beginning to form over her face, the Diamond asked in a low, almost trembling voice, “ _How long has this war been going on?_ ”

“I-I-”

“ _Answer the question right now, human. I’m not kidding around.”_ Her voice sounded more serious than it ever had.

Steven noticed her fists beginning to curl up, and for the first time in a few hours, began to fear for his life yet again.

“There is no war!” he blurted out. “I-I mean… not anymore…”

The Diamond looked taken off guard, and uncurled her fists. She quickly tried to regain control and forced a laugh out. “Ahaha, what do you _mean_ there’s no more war? I mean, the Earth is still here… The Crystal Gems are still here…”

“It’s true. The war has been over for…” He fell silent again. He didn’t want to see her scary side again.

“For-?! How long! Spit it out already!” Her voice cracked with almost scared desperation.

“...5000 years.”

All the color drained from the Diamond’s face. She took a stumbling step back, collapsing on the bench they had been sitting on. She leaned forward, digging her fingers hard into her face.

“5000 years… I was in that bubble for _5000 years?!_ ”

“Yeah… I’m really sorry.”

“And no one came looking for me?! I thought maybe they didn’t care, but I didn’t think they cared _that little!_ ” She almost sounded like she was going to cry.

“No no no! It’s not that at all! You see, the thing is…” Oh this was going to make things even worse. But trying to hide it would be even _more_ terrible. And Steven, despite himself, was beginning to feel pity for the monarch. “Everyone, kinda sorta, thinks you’re uh, the teensiest bit… dead?”

Pink Diamond slowly began to rise in her seat. Her expression was now blank and frozen in place, as if all the gears in her head had suddenly jammed.

“Dead.”

“Yeah.”

“Everyone’s been thinking I’m dead. For 5000 years.”

“Yup.”

“They didn’t know that I was-”

“Nope.”

She slowly lifted a hand up, and for a second Steven thought she was going to bury herself in her hands again, when suddenly her hand formed a fist, and it came crashing down into the bench upon which they sat. Steven let out a cry of fear and threw himself away from her as pieces of splintered wood flew over him.

He felt a shadow over him, and to his horror, he saw a thoroughly enraged Pink Diamond standing above him. She looked angrier than he had ever seen her, even more than when she had smashed her own reflection on the Jungle Moon.

“That’s it! No more fooling around! You tell me where that coward Rose Quartz is _RIGHT NOW!_ ” she practically screamed.

Steven trembled as he tried to scoot backwards away from her, but she slammed her foot not 3 inches from his side.

“ _NO!_ You stay right there!”

“Please… Please, I don’t… I can’t…” Steven could barely force any words out, let alone think of anything that could calm her down. He was shaking so hard he couldn’t even get himself to stand.

Pink Diamond paused for a moment, but her dangerous scowl remained. “Fine then. If you’re not gonna talk, then.... I guess there’s another way you can help me find her.”

She crouched down to his level.

“She always had such a soft spot for the little cute humans, and you _are_ very cute and little…”

She stretched her hand out towards Steven.

“ _So you’ll be sticking with me for a bit._ ”

Steven let out a yelp of fear as she pinched the back of his shirt and stood back up at her full level, lifting him into the air. He kicked his legs uselessly and pulled at the hand holding onto him.

“And when she comes looking for you, she’s gonna have a lot of… Lot of...”

When her voice began to trail off in shock, Steven suddenly realized he had forgotten to hide his gem. He looked down, and sure enough, there it was. Exposed. Glittering in the sunlight, plain as day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welp, looks like Steven's dead. man this was a short series, huh?


	4. An Inconvenient Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An alternate title for this chapter would be "The Rumor Come Out: Does Steven is Rose Quartz?"

“I-” Steven began to say, but before he could get a complete thought out, Pink’s grip had slipped, and he came crashing back down to the ground with a painful thud.

Pink began to slowly back away, shaking her head in disbelief, her hands and eyes trembling.

“ _Rose_ ,” she said in little more than a whisper. “ _What is this_ …”

“Pink Diamond please,” his voice was shaking. “Let me explain-”

Her hand suddenly thrust forward and grabbed him by the collar. He nearly got whiplash from how hard he was yanked in the air. “Oh _really?!_ I get an _explanation! How very generous of you!_ Well I don’t wanna HEAR IT!” She gave him a violent shake, causing him to cry out in fear.

“Please, listen, Pink Diamond, you’ve got it all wrong! I’m not Rose, I’m _Steven!_ ” Tears were beginning to brim in his eyes.

“ _Steven?_ HA! What kind of a name is that? What kind of weirdo would call herself  _Steven?_ ” Pink Diamond said, a cruel smile on her face.

“W-w-well I mean, I didn’t pick it out… I’m, I’m  pretty sure my mom was the one who- Yeah, she picked my name out!”

“SHUT UP! I don’t wanna hear any more of your lies!”

Help…

“What did you _DO TO ME?!_ ”

_Help…_

“I’ll make you pay… I’LL MAKE YOU PAY!”

_Somebody help me!_

“Hey, leave him alone!”

Steven’s breath caught in his throat at that familiar voice. _Jenny Pizza..._

Pink Diamond blinked, suddenly aware that they were not alone on the boardwalk. She whipped around to ascertain the owner of the voice, and saw that a decently sized crowd of humans had gathered; all of them wearing expressions ranging from fear and concern to righteous fury. Jenny and her two friends, Sour Cream and Buck Dewey, stood ahead of them all, each of them looking ready to throw down.

“What did you just-”

“You heard me, you giant poofy-pantsed bully! Leave our boy Steven alone! He didn’t do nothin’ to you!” said Jenny.

The crowd murmured in agreement. Steven was beginning to feel the tears forcing their way out of his eyes. He was oscillating between relief and joy that his friends were standing up for him, and fear that they were going to get themselves hurt.

“Now, now wait just a second here, I’m not the bad guy here! _She_ is!” Pink pointed an accusing finger at the tiny boy. “She put me in a bubble for 5000 years, and let everyone think I was dead!”

“Okay first off, Steven’s a _boy,_ so that’s rude,” said Sour Cream, stepping in. “And second, that kid’s gotta be only like 10 years old, how could he’ve 'put you in a bubble' all the way back then?”  

“Actually I’m 14 years old…” Steven said meekly.

The entire crowd gasped.

“ _Whaaaaaaat.”_ said Buck Dewey, as flatly as ever as the other two Cool Kids stared, their mouths agape.

“No you see, that’s her cover story! She’s not actually a human, she’s a gem! Look, she’s even got her gem right THERE!” She lifted Steven up so the gem resting on his navel was visible for all to see. “See?! Undeniable proof that she’s Rose Quartz!”

“Rose Quartz? Who the heck is that?”

“Isn’t that Steven’s _mom?_ ”

“Oh yeah, that lady with the big pink hair!”

Pink Diamond blinked. “What are you talking about? ‘Mom?’” Why did that word sound so familiar…?

“Wait a sec… You think Steven’s his mom just cuz he’s got her rock on his bellybutton?” said Sour Cream. “That’s lame!”

“Girl, I got a lotta people sayin’ I got my dad’s eyes, but they ain’t going around saying we’re the same dang _person_ _!_ ” said Jenny, placing her hands on her hips.

Suddenly, something clicked in Pink’s head. _Mom… Dad…_ She remembered long hours at the zoo, researching everything humans needed for sustainable living. How instead of popping from the ground, they required two different kinds of humans to create a new one...

She heard a choked sob coming over from her outstretched hand. She looked over to see, to her shock, Steven clinging onto the hand that clutched his shirt, the tears now coming out in droves. He was looking distinctly un-Rose-like.

“Please… Please don’t kill me… I’m not my mom… _Please you have to believe me_ …”

Her face softened, looking somewhere between guilt and confusion.

“Then… What _are_ you?”

Just trying to think about that question, Steven found himself hysterically sobbing, both to his surprise and Pink’s.

“Whu- What? H-hey now, there’s no need for that! C’mon, don’t cry!”

She tried to gently cup his face with her hand, but he flinched away, causing her to quickly withdraw her hand. She nervously glanced between him and the glowering crowd, when suddenly something caught her eye.

“G-gimme a second!” She suddenly set him down on the ground and ran towards the crowd. Steven tried to look up to see what she was doing, but his vision was blurry through all his tears. And they just wouldn’t stop. By the time he had wiped his eyes clean, Pink was standing in front of him again, a nervous grin upon her face, her hands behind her back.

“Watch this!”

The Diamond tossed a large purple teddy bear into the air. Then an expensive-looking camera that Steven recognized as one belonging to Ronaldo. Then just as she caught the teddy bear in her other hand, she suddenly tossed Onion into the air. Before long, all three were soaring through the air, left and right between Pink Diamond’s outstretched hands.

Steven’s eyes followed each of the objects (and Onion) as they bounced up and down in the air, unable to believe what he was watching. This gem was a tyrant. This gem had subjugated gems, threatened his planet, laughed cruelly in the face of love and peace.

...This gem was doing a juggling trick to try and cheer him up.

A tiny chuckle found its way out of his mouth. And it grew into a laugh. And slowly but surely Steven was keeled over in peals of giggles.

It was all so surreal. It was all so ridiculous. How could he not laugh?

A relieved smile spread across Pink’s face, and she nimbly tossed the teddy bear right back into the arms of the little girl she’d borrowed it from, who hugged it tightly. Ronaldo’s camera was also tossed back to him, and it bounced between his hands like a juggling act of his own. And finally, Onion was swung into the air, landing on top of her cotton candy hair with a soft _flump_.

“Ta-da!” she sung out, stretching out her hands.

Steven had to clap. There was no other alternative. The placated crowd one-by-one joined in, and soon there was a respectable applause going for the Diamond’s performance.

“Okay, I gotta give that one to you,” said Jenny with a smirk.

“Juggling, huh,” said Buck Dewey in his usual flat voice. “...I can dig that.”

“Hey… How about you two come over and have some pizza, on me,” said Jenny, gesturing in the direction of Fish Stew Pizza.

Steven’s stomach rumbled upon registering the word “pizza.”

“Ohhh that sounds awesome Jenny, thank you…” He looked up at Pink. “You wanted to know what I am. I can try and explain that to you, and maybe any other questions you might have… I can imagine you have a lot.”

Pink blinked once, then gave a small smile.

\---

“So basically it’s like, if my mom- Rose Quartz, you remember- was this slice of pepperoni pizza,” Steven held up a pepperoni pizza slice. “...And my dad was this slice of mushroom pizza!” He waved a slice of mushroom pizza.

“Mm-hm, mm-hm,” Pink nodded, hanging onto his every word.

“They came together, and put a piece of themselves into this NEW slice of pizza…” He placed the two slices of pizza on the table and pulled out a third slice (whose toppings he had entirely picked off, for effect.) “Me!”

“Mm-hmmm…” Pink’s eyebrows began to furrow.

“So my dad added a bit of himself…” He picked a few mushrooms off his “dad” and placed it on the empty slice. “And my mom added a, uh, lot of herself...but in a way that it was also half and half…” He started slowly picking off pepperoni after pepperoni and laying them around the mushrooms.

“Mmmmmm-hmmmmmmm…” Her pupils were starting to drift apart.

“And she basically gave up so much of herself that she, uh...died.” Steven picked up the pepperoni slice and awkwardly bit into it.

Pink Diamond stared vacantly at the slice of mushrooms and pepperoni on the table.

“...I know it’s not a perfect analogy, lemme try again-”

“No it’s okay! I totally get it!”

“Really?!”

“Yeah!”

Steven narrowed his eyes. “Are you lying to me?”

Pink’s eyes drifted slowly downward, a smile still plastered on her face. “Ye-ea-ah...,” she said falteringly.

Steven just chuckled warmly. “It’s okay. It’s hard enough for _me_ to get my head around, and I’m literally living it.”

Pink Diamond reached down and picked up the Pizza Steven. “I might know the basics of it though… You’re not her, right?”

Steven nodded quickly. “Yes! That’s exactly right!”

“And she’s…” She looked over at him, still munching on the pepperoni slice. “Gone.”

He looked awkwardly at the slice still hanging from his mouth, took a hard swallow, and slowly set the slice back down on the plate. “Yeah. That too.”

Pink let Pizza Steven slip from her hands, and slowly sank her head until it was resting on the table, looking absolutely defeated. In spite of himself, Steven felt himself struck with pity for the childish tyrant.

“Maybe I uh, shouldn’t have gone with that analogy, it kinda sounded a lot less weird in my head,” he laughed. “I promise, I didn’t actually _eat_ her. ...Well, probably… But definitely not literally!” His face grew brighter red as the hole he dug himself got deeper.

Pink peeked up from under her bangs and gave let out a series of tiny giggles, gradually lifting her head up from the table. Steven couldn’t help but feel good that he made her feel at least a _bit_ better.

“Do you think there are any others like you out there? Maybe they could explain it better.”

“Nah, I’m…” He gave a sad little smile. “About 99 percent sure I’m probably the only one out there.”

“The only one…!” Pink’s eyes sparkled, and she leaned forward in her seat, shoving her face well into Steven’s personal bubble. “You’re _literally_ one of a kind!”

Steven’s cheeks grew warm. That was a surprisingly nice way of putting it, and one that he hadn’t often thought of. “Yeah, I guess I am! Still, being the only one can get kinda lonely… Not belonging with the mushrooms _or_ the pepperonis…”

Pink slowly began to lower her face until her bangs completely covered her eyes. “Yeah… I suppose it could…”

Steven’s face sank in concern, but before he could say something, Pink suddenly lifted her face again. “Say uh, Sssstee-?”

Steven lifted an eyebrow confusedly.

“Stehv- Steevohn?”

“Oh! It’s Steven!” he said happily.

“Right! Stee-vin!” She glowed with pride in herself. “So, Stee-vin… I’m uh, really sorry for being all scary back there.”

Steven blinked in shock. A _Diamond_ was _apologizing_? He could barely believe it, but the look of remorse on her face was quite sincere.

“And, also for saying your name is stupid…” She twiddled her fingers uncomfortably. “It's a really cute name… I was just being bitter.”

“Hehehe, that’s okay… You had every reason to be, after what my mom did.”

Pink’s expression shifted into a grim frown. “Say uh… I don’t suppose you know how long the war lasted after she… After I...” She gave a small cough, scratching at her hair. “Disappeared?”

Steven found that a rather odd question. _I guess she wants to know whether her soldiers put up a decent fight without her?_ “Not for much longer, I don’t think. Everyone was um...pretty upset.” He looked down at the table, seeing flashes of the raging, corrupting Jasper, the weeping Blue Diamond, Yellow Diamond’s face contorted with grief. “See, what happened was, a call went out for-”

“ _Stop, I-_ ” Pink Diamond frantically waved her hands. “I uh, don’t need to hear the gruesome details.”

Steven felt his stomach shrivel. Sooner or later she was going to find out what happened to her soldiers who were left behind… But perhaps it was better saved for a day she wasn’t already so emotionally distressed.

After a few seconds of silently looking down, Pink eventually murmured, “Everyone was...upset, huh?”

“Yeah. They still are. They really miss you.”

Pink Diamond looked absolutely taken off guard. Like she could barely believe what Steven was saying. “Even...Blue and Yellow?”

Steven gave a sad smile. “ _Especially_ Blue and Yellow.”

Pink began to smile in amazement, but soon her eyes began to furrow. It looked like a hundred thoughts were racing through her head.

“By the way… I don’t suppose there’s any quick way off this planet?” She gave an awkward, lopsided smile.

Steven drew in a sharp breath, looking sheepishly to the side. “Eeeeyeah, about that…”

Pink’s smile quickly dropped. “Oh no. Don’t tell me-”

“Yeaahhh...sorry…” Steven lowered his head remorsefully. “The Galaxy Warp is busted, all the ships are busted, the communications tower is busted… Basically, you’re stuck here.”

Pink let out a loud groan of frustration and smacked her head into the table with a loud bang.

“Well, until someone comes looking for me I guess.” Steven fiddled with his pepperoni slice again.

Pink Diamond sat back up with a start. “Looking for you? Why?!”

Steven looked awkwardly to the side. “Cuz all of Homeworld thinks I’m my mom, and that I shattered you… Not to mention I, kinda sorta crashed Blue Diamond's palanquin while escaping my own trial.”

Pink Diamond snorted in amazement.

“I managed to get away, but this is probably literally the first place they’ll look when they realize that I’m not on Homeworld anymore.”

Pink Diamond suddenly leaned in close to him, her chair scraping against the tile. “So what you’re saying is, it’s only a matter of time until at least someone …possibly Yellow and Blue themselves… come _here?_ ”

“Uhhh…” Steven leaned back a bit. “Yeah, probably?”

“Oh this is _perfect_ _!_ So all I gotta do now is just hang around you until someone comes to kill you, and I’ve got a free ride home!”

Steven blanched. “Oh… I guess I—”

“And this way, I’ll just be able to explain to them that you’re not Rose Quartz, and you had nothing to do with any of the war stuff, and you won’t get shattered!”

“Oh…! You would actually do that—?”

“And I might even be able to get you a nice cozy little place to live where you won’t have to worry about people coming to kill you, or foraging for food, or anything ever again!”

“Whoa now _wait a minute!_ ”

She bounced excitedly to her feet. “So where was it you lived? That little cottage down the way there? Oh it was so cute! We’re gonna have so much fun hanging out!” With a literal hop, skip, and a jump, she exited Fish Stew Pizza.

Steven stared blankly at nothing in particular.

“What the heck just happened?”

Pink Diamond peeked back through the door. “I actually have no idea where I am, could you walk me back?”

\---

It was almost dark by the time Garnet and Amethyst had warped back in.

“Geez, this isn’t good… No sign of her royal highness _anywhere!_ ”

“And my future vision is completely on the fritz… She could be anywhere, plotting anyth-”

_Creeeakkk…_

The two gems froze.

_Creeeeaaaaaaaaaaakkkk….._

Slowly, they began to look upwards towards the ceiling, where the ominous creaking was emanating.

Before they could crane their necks all the way up, the creaking snapped into a loud crash, and something large and heavy dropped right on top of them, pinning them to the floor. Pieces of the scaffolding rained down upon them in splinters.

“Piiiink! I told  you not to climb up there!” came the fretful voice of Steven.

_Pink-?!_

Garnet and Amethyst shot a fearful look at each other, and then at the weight lying on top of them. The sight of a pair of bright magenta poofy pants was all they needed to determine their ambusher.

They quickly leapt to their feet, sweeping in front of Steven in a defensive pose. Pink Diamond lay there on the ground, still somewhat stunned by her fall, her bottom sticking up in the air, her face squished against the floor, and her arms crookedly sprawled over the floor.

After about a second, she seemed to realize her awkward presentation, and attempted hurriedly to shift into a more intimidating pose. What came out was more akin to how Amethyst posed when she used to tell Vidalia to “paint her like one of her French art models.”

“So, _Crystal Gems_ … Fancy running into you here!”

“Uhhh, we live here,” said Amethyst.

“HOW VERY CONVENIENT!”

“What are you even still doing here?! I thought you were gonna go out and look for a way off planet!”

“OOOHOHOHO! That was a mere clever diversion! For you see!”

The Diamond rose to her feet, spreading her legs apart, crossing her arms, and puffing her chest forward.

“I, the Brilliant, Glorious, Incandescent Pink Diamond, have deigned to establish this most _humble_ of abodes, to be an admissible area in which I shall proceed to conduct my most illustrious affairs, until my fellow Diamonds return and I am mercifully delivered from this miserable rock!"

“...Uh _whut?_ ”

“I’m hijacking your base!”

Amethyst let out a loud, indignant gasp. “Like _heck_ you are!”

“I _am,_ like heck! _”_

“ _NO!”_

Pink Diamond flinched a little at the harshness of Garnet’s command, but clumsily retained her haughty stance.

With an electronic hum, Garnet’s gauntlets were summoned. “ _Get out of our house._ ”

“Never! _Nobody commands a Diamond!_ ” she proclaimed, gesticulating dramatically.

“ _You are not welcome here!”_ Garnet clenched her teeth, her fists twitching to imbed themselves in the tyrant’s face.

“Am too!”

“Uhh, I don’t recall any of us sending you an invitation, princess,” said Amethyst.

“Uhhhhh...actually…” came the meek voice of Steven.

Garnet and Amethyst looked back at the boy, their eyes wide.

“Oh no, oh dude no c’mon…” said Amethyst.

“Please just hear me out!” Steven darted from behind them and planted himself firmly between them and the Diamond, who was beginning to relax her stiffened pose.

“When I was out in Funland, I actually ran into her… And she figured out that I have Mom’s gem.” He lifted his shirt to prove his point.

“Steven… _Steven no, get away from her,_ ” Garnet said, her voice shaking.

“It’s okay! She never hurt me once! And she understands I’m not my mom!” He turned his head to look back at Pink. “And she’s promised that if she wants to stay here, she’s not gonna hurt anyone else.”

“And, we’re supposed to believe _her_ word?” Amethyst said, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh c’mon, I never hurt anyone that didn’t attack me first!” said Pink, crossing her arms.

Amethyst let out a series of loud coughs, with the word “Pearl” blatantly sandwiched in.

“Well technically you torpedoed into her, so that’s on you.”

“No… No! I’m drawing the line _here_ _!_ ” Garnet slammed her foot down, both metaphorically and literally. “I don’t care who you think you are! Your so-called Authority means nothing to us. You will _not_ push us around like another of your grovelling slaves! And you are _not staying here!_ _End! Of! Story!”_

Pink’s face began to flush with rage, but then after a moment, it was replaced again with an arrogant smirk. “Okay, fusion. Have it your way. I’ll leave.”

Steven’s eyes boggled. Garnet’s arms began to lower in surprise.

“Wait... _really?!_ ” Amethyst said.

“Yeah…” Her smirk widened into an impish grin. “ _If you can make me!_ ”

Steven felt his stomach drop nearly into his feet. The tension was thicker than ever. Garnet’s teeth ground as she gripped her fists ever tighter. Amethyst glanced back and forth between the smirking Diamond and her glowering superior, waiting for some kind of direction.

Oh how badly Garnet wanted to grab this spoiled brat by her ears and throw her out. _But she couldn’t. Nothing they could throw at her would do anything. Fighting back would be signing their death certificates. It would lead to Steven being left all alone with this monster._

So the four of them stood there, each gem wanting to make a move, wanting to say something. And none of them foolish enough to do it.

Suddenly the bathroom door burst open, slamming against the wall with a bang, and Peridot slowly shuffled out. She stopped at the edge of the living room, looking with half-lidded eyes at the scene that lay before her.

“Who the heck is _this_ clod?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the support for this fic!! It's really helped a lot to motivate me to keep going!!! :D  
> The next chapter might take a bit longer since school is starting to pick up, but I'm still keeping at it as best I can! See ya next time!


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